The Case of the Bunny Slippers
by xxXAsterRoseXxx
Summary: When Firestar loses his precious Bunny Slippers, his epic journey to find them leads him from the four clans to StarClan itself. Not knowing how he gets sucked into these things, Graystripe goes along for the ride.
1. Loss and Panic

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing in the _Warriors _universe. It all belongs to the Erin Hunters and Harper Collins.

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****Chapter 1 – Loss and Panic**

Night hung over the clans. Firestar raced through the ThunderClan camp, a look of panic in his green eyes. "Graystripe! Graaayyystriiipe!"

Fearing something was wrong with his best friend and leader, Graystripe ran to Firestar.

"Do you know where I put my Bunny Slippers?" Firestar asked the slightly winded Graystripe.

Eyes wide with shock, Graystripe nodded his head no. "Your Bunny Slippers are missing?"

Firestar replied gravely, "I wear them every night, but I woke up this morning and they were gone!"

"Are you sure you didn't leave them somewhere?"

"Graystripe, do you really think your amazing, talented, and handsome Leader would misplace his Bunny Slippers?" Firestar replied indignantly, with a glance into a convenient pool to reassure himself that his famous good looks were still intact.

"Of course not, I was just throwing out ideas."

"Well then, I have no choice but to conclude that one of my icompletely trustworthy/i and icompletely honest/i Clanmates must have taken them."

*_Cue dramatic music_*

"No!" Graystripe howled in protest.

"Yes!" Firestar whined.

" No."

" Yes."

"Yes," Graystripe meowed suddenly.

"No! I mean, yes! Someone has stolen my Bunny Slippers; Graystripe, my loyal friend, will you swear that you will do anything in your power, even unto risking your own life, to assist me in my quest to find and recover my Bunny Slippers?"

"Yes, my leader! I do so swear to—what you meowed."

"Excellent," Firestar meowed back. "There is one more thing: You must swear to tell no-one of our investigation."

"Yes, my leader!"

"Then, Graystripe, the hunt is afoot."

*_Cue dramatic music_*

"I thought we were looking for Bunny Slippers, not feet." Graystripe meowed.

"It's a kitty pet saying!" Firestar smacked his noble forehead with his paw.

"Oh—you are so wise."

"Yes, I know, but you know how much I despise boasting."

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**Author's Note:** This is my first fic. It started out in script format and then my wonderful beta put it into converted it to the way it is now. To be honest, I'm very proud of it and I hope you like it! Please review! (Flamers need not apply)


	2. Search But No Rescue

**Chapter 2 – Search But No Rescue**

"We should start our search in the nursery," Firestar declared.

Ignoring his growing feelings of concern for Firestar's sanity, Graystripe followed Firestar to the nursery.

Firestar whispered to Graystripe, "Remember, don't say why we're here; we want this to be quiet."

"Whatever you say…" Graystripe muttered.

Firestar burst into the nursery roaring, "All right, which one of you stole my Bunny Slippers? Speak up, and your lives shall be spared."

"I thought you wanted this to be quiet," Graystripe hissed into Firestar's ear.

"I changed my mind."

"Whatever you say…"

Dewkit looked up from playing with a pink feather and tilted her head in confusion at the commotion that had erupted in the once-quiet den. Firestar noticed the pink, and narrowed his eyes at the helpless kit, saying, "It was you! You stole my Bunny Slippers!"

"Er, Firestar? That is a feather," Graystripe meowed, trying very hard to resist the urge to run away from the whole affair.

"That's just what she wants you to think…" Firestar meowed, before turning back to Dewkit. "I know what you did! You stole my Bunny Slippers, then turned them into feathers. Oh, it was all very brilliant, but I can see through your master plan. You hoped that by stealing my slippers, you could gain power over me and all of ThunderClan!"

At that, Dewkit's mother, Cinderheart, walked up to Firestar and slapped him as only an offended queen could. "You idiot, she's just a kit. How in StarClan could she have done any such thing?"

"I don't know— she's the criminal mastermind, not me," Firestar huffed.

Before things could get any further out of hand, Graystripe took control of the situation. "I'm so sorry for disturbing you ladies—Firestar has had a late night and it's way past his bed time. Come on Firestar," he meowed hurriedly, as he oh-so-subtly nudged an angry Firestar towards the den's exit.

"But I don't wanna go to bed!" Firestar wailed, loud enough to wake the few members of ThunderClan still asleep.

"You need your rest, Firestar," Graystripe meowed, trying to imitate Millie's soothing 'kit tone.'

"I don't want to! I don't want to! I don't want to, an' I'm the ThunderClan leader and you can't make me!"

By now, Graystripe's patience had worn thinner than a mouse's tail. "You have to or else I'm not getting you the _Night Whispers _for your birthday!"

"But you promised!"

Graystripe threw up his paws in anguish. Firestar had not been quite himself after that affair with Leafpool and the WindClan cat, but this was something he'd never in his darkest dreams imagined. He wondered if it was a hereditary trait in ThunderClan leaders to go insane after terrible betrayals. "I'll get you _Night Whispers_ and _SkyClan's Destiny_ for your birthday if you go to bed," he tried in near-desperation.

"You promise?" Firestar sniffed.

"Yes, I do."

"Cross your heart and hope to die, stick a pine needle in your eye?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever, just go to bed! Please!"


	3. Graystripe's Agony

**Chapter 3 - Graystripe's Agony**

The next day, Firestar and Graystripe collapsed in Firestar's den after searching the length and breadth of the camp. Graystripe was certain it was only a matter of time until every cat they had crossed paths with defected to ShadowClan.

"Did we check the apprentice den?" Firestar asked Graystripe _again_.

" Yes, we did. You may remember furiously tearing up a nest when Ivypaw told you she didn't know anything about your slippers?"

"Oh…yeah. Um, did we check the warriors' den?" He seemed genuinely forgetful.

_For pity's sake_, thought Graystripe, _how can anyone **not **check the warriors' den when hunting the length and breadth of camp?_

"Yes, we did that too. I don't know what you aren't remembering, but I distinctly remember having to drag you out of Lionblaze's claws after you told him that unless he told you where the Bunny Slippers were, he couldn't have any candy this "Trip or Catnip" Festival."

"Well, he _did_ have some pink on him. I mean, how was I supposed to know he stepped in a puddle of Twoleg gunk?" Firestar meowed defensively.

"It's called paint."

"Whatever. Anyway, did we double check the fresh kill pile?"

Graystripe, now thoroughly frustrated, snapped, "Yes! Everyone thought you were going crazy when you started throwing the mice around."

"Don't get that way with me, Graystripe. I thought I saw something pink, and how many pink things other than my Slippers are in this camp?"

"But that wasn't it."

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. There's only one more thing to do, and that is…"

Hurriedly interjecting, Graystripe meowed, "If it has anything to do with sticking our heads in a badger hole, getting chased by a fox, or doing anything that has anything to do with trying to fly for the millionth time, then I'm out! And this time I mean it!"

"Oh no, it's none of those things."

Graystripe nearly fell over in relief, but then he really did fall over with Firestar's next words.

"I'm just going to declare war on all the Clans unless they return my Bunny Slippers!"

_

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__Shortly after the next Gathering_

"Well, that went well!"

"No need for sarcasm, Graystripe ol' buddy, ol' pal; how was I supposed to know that they didn't have them? It was the logical next step –if a fox didn't eat them, a badger didn't steal them, and no-one from ThunderClan knew anything about them, then obviously someone from another clan stole them. Really Graystripe, even you should be able to figure that out."

"No cat in their right mind would steal a pair of pink Bunny Slippers from the ThunderClan leader!" _Except maybe Blackstar if he was in the mood for blackmail_, Graystripe mentally added, but there was no way he was going to tell Firestar this. Letting your leader singlehandedly attack the fiercest of the Clans was generally frowned upon, he thought.

"I tried to once," Firestar meowed. "Only Bluestar's were yellow, not pink."

"Then you're not in your right mind," Graystripe responded, before he had time to stop the words from coming out.

"What do you mean I'm not in my right mind? _You're_ the one who's in your wrong mind, Graystripe, and, and you hurt my feelings!" Firestar shot back.

"I'm sorry, Firestar! I didn't mean it, you know I didn't! It's just been a really long day."

"That's all right—for now."

"I have an idea," Graystripe meowed suddenly. He wasn't sure if this would work or not, but somehow he needed to send Firestar to a place where he couldn't hurt himself, and most importantly, not damage Graystripe's already mortally wounded reputation.

"What?"

"Why don't you ask StarClan about your slippers? If anyone would know anything, they would. "

"That's a great idea! And if they won't tell me, I'll declare war on them too!" Firestar meowed enthusiastically.

For the 15,493rd time that day, Graystripe's paw met his brow.


	4. Don't Mess with the Blind Medicine Cat

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing. _Star Wars _belongs to George Lucas and _The Lord of the Rings _to the Tolkien Estate. Obviously _Warriors_ isn't mine either.

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**Chapter 4-Don't Mess With the Blind Medicine Cat**

"I'm off to see StarClan," Firestar meowed. "Don't get in any trouble while I'm gone, Graystripe."

"Don't forget to stop by the Medicine Cat den!" Graystripe helpfully reminded.

"But the traveling herbs taste so icky! And blind cats weird me out."

"Firestar…they're good for you. Now go see Jayfeather before I count to three: One, Twooo."

"Okay, okay. Whatever." With that, Firestar padded over to the Medicine Cat den. How he hated traveling herbs! He was a strong cat; he could handle a little walk. At the entrance to the den, he heard a strange noise. Some creature was in the den with Jayfeather, and Jayfeather was _talking _with the voice! From what Firestar could hear, it wasn't much of a conversation, though, as both voices seemed to be saying the same thing.

_"My Precioussss, my Precioussss."_

"Um, Jayfeather? Um, are you okay?" The voices suddenly stopped, and sounds of shuffling came from the den.

"Oh, um…yeah. I'm fine, er, Firestar, is that you? Could you hold on a sec?"

Firestars eyes narrowed in suspicion as the shuffling turned to clanging. He nearly jumped out of his paws when a blood-curdling shriek came from the den.

"Jayfeather, are you okay?"

"Yeeeooowwwww!"

"Jayfeather! I asked if you were okay!" Jayfeather only managed another scream of pain in response.

"Hold on, I'll rescue you!" Firestar valiantly burst into the den with a fierce war cry, ready to take on whomever or whatever had hurt ThunderClan's [apprentice-less] medicine cat. He saw Jayfeather lying on the floor with something he hadn't seen since he was a kitty pet—a shiny flat-screen TV—on top of him.

"Jayfeather? Are you okay?"

Jayfeather continued to scream for a few more minutes before stopping to fix Firestar with a glare, a rather impressive feat, all things considered. "Do I _look_ okay? Now make yourself useful, you big dummy, and get this thing off of me!"

Hurt by Jayfeather's rude and demanding tone, Firestar hesitated. "Only if you ask nicely."

"Firestar," Jayfeather meowed slowly. Very slowly. "Kindly remove this television from my back, before it crushes my vital organs and I die. Please?"

"Can't have that happening, can we?" Firestar meowed, still a bit put-off from being called a dummy.

"Move now, or I swear by StarClan, my spirit will come back and **** you and then **** you.

Shocked, Firestar meowed, "Those are Very Bad Words! What do they mean?"

"They mean, 'If you don't get this off of me, the words will become actions."

"Well, that would also be bad, but you haven't asked nice enough yet."

Jayfeather screamed again, this time in pure, undiluted rage. He raised the paw that wasn't under the TV, and unsheathed his claws in Firestar's general direction.

"All right, keep your whiskers on!" Firestar lifted up the TV. "OMS!* Is, is that Lord of the Rings on?"

Jayfeather, who had picked himself up and gotten his breath back, advanced with bared teeth on Firestar. On the way, he casually tucked his precious Stick under his bed of leaves.

Oblivious, Firestar continued, "I love Lord of the Rings and hey, you have the special Extended Editions!" Catching sight of the DVDs carefully arranged on a flat rock, Firestar jabbered on, unaware of the shotgun pointed at his back. "Oooh, and you have _Star Wars_ too! Let me tell you, Jayfeather, I am such fan of those movies; I even bought a few collectible items a while back. Nowaynowaynoway! You have the Barney Movie? I was there for the midnight release! Oh, something reminds me: I need some of those nasty traveling herbs for a journey to the Moonpool. You got any?"

Slowly putting the gun down, Jayfeather prepared the traveling herbs, all the while hunting for a large solid object that when applied correctly, would knock out even the thickest, reddest head.

Keeping his back turned to Firestar, Jayfeather flicked the herbs to Firestar with his tail as he weighed several choice stones. He settled on a dark reddish-brown stone, shaped like a perfect rectangle and a little crumbly at the edges.

"Thanks! You know, you're a great medicine cat, Jayfeather. I've gotta skedaddle now—nice movie collection! By the way, have you seen my Bunny Slippers?" Not waiting for an answer, Firestar turned to go.

Jayfeather couldn't risk Firestar blabbing about his beautiful Hi-def TV and movie collection. While Firestar might be too dim to make the connection, other cats were sure to realize he had had dealings with Twolegs that the Warrior Code may or may not have approved of. He quietly lifted the brick to launch at Firestar's skull, but unfortunately missed by a mile.

As he ran off, Firestar heard a loud "Ow!" from the Medicine Cat den. Turning around, he saw Jayfeather dropping a brick on his right paw and proceeding to jump up and down screaming. "Great dance!" Firestar yelled over his shoulder. Jayfeather yowled something in reply that Firestar couldn't understand. With a shrug, he ran out of camp.

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*'OMS' stands for "Oh My StarClan."


	5. And All Dark Forest Broke Loose

**Chapter 5-And All Dark Forest Broke Loose**

The traveling herbs were gone, and so was Firestar's strength. He had been attacked by three ShadowClan foxes and fought an intense Kung Fu battle with a frog that lived in the small pools along the path to the Moonpool. He arrived at the Moonpool scratched, beaten (by the frog), and very wet. Firestar flopped down in front of the Moonpool, and rapidly drank from it before falling into a deep, deep sleep.

Firestar woke up in StarClan.

"Did I lose a life?" he asked Yellowfang, who was sitting in front of him.

"No," she meowed. Then a blue light surrounded her, and her voice went deep and mysterious as she intoned, "You are seeking your lost Bunny Slippers. You are wondering if we cats of StarClan and our new Super Computer, with its 'Seek & Find' search engine, daily prophecy generator, and over 50 fun-filled games can find it. You come for answers, but answers come at a great cost. Will you pay the price, young Firestar?"

"You have a Super Computer?"

"Of course we do! How do you expect us to watch over our Clanmates? With a telescope?" she meowed in an annoyed tone. A Super Computer suddenly materialized in front of Firestar. "Here it is."

"But how did you pay for it? These things don't come cheap, do they?"

"Long did we save for it, Firestar. Strange it is that in all of eternity they have so few paydays." The blue glow winked out, and Yellowfang's voice resumed its usual grumpy tone. "However, we have our ways of bringing home The Dough; for instance, there is a $5 entrance fee to get into StarClan. That's the reason we sent Cinderheart back – she had lost a nickel on the way up and only had $4.95. We had to send back for the remaining five cents, of course."

"Oh," Firestar blinked at Yellowfang. He looked down at the ground, and saw something pink. His eyes focused on the pink, and the pink became slippers. Moving upward, the slippers became yellowed fur, and yellowed fur became the face of Yellowfang. Every flame-colored hair on end, Firestar adopted a Kung Fu opening stance.

"You betrayed me! It was you, YOU were the one who stole my Bunny Slippers! You're evil, and I hate you!"

"Your view is twisted!"

"No it isn't!"

"Don't start this again, Firestar. I've been watching you, and I'm sick of this kit-like nonsense from you. Besides, you never win this kind of argument. All I have to say is 'No it isn't' and…"

"Yes it is! I mean, no it isn't!" Firestar meowed.

Firestar ignited a red lightsaber. Yellowfang ignited a yellow lightsaber.

"Hey, where did you find a yellow one? I looked all over for one of those to add to my collection, but apparently Yellow Lightsaber #54321 got discontinued after three units."

"Let's just say that I have friends in high places, shall we?" Yellowfang purred.

"Let us begin," the two warriors meowed in unison.

"Aaahh!" yowled Firestar.

"Aaahh!" roared Yellowfang.

Bars of red and yellow energy clashed furiously. Sparks flew. Cheesy effects whizzed. An orchestra and choir formed of StarClan cats assembled and began to play "Duel of the Fates"1 in the background.

"Chaos, Chaos!" sang the choir.

The epic duel began to draw an audience. Soon, thousands of cats stood around the two combatants, and divided themselves into Team Firestar and Team Yellowfang. Even cats from the Dark Forest came to watch the once-in-a-lifetime show.

"Come on, Yellowfang, cream the Kittypet before I do it for you!" Tigestar roared.

"Go, Firestar! Crush Yellowfang!" encouraged Brokenstar. "Seconded!" yowled Darkstripe, who was quickly on the receiving end of Tigerstar's fierce scowl.

"My father betrayed me!" Breezepelt shrieked. He ran all over the field foaming at the mouth before he collapsed in a heap. All the cats in StarClan looked at him in confusion, many wondering how he had gotten there in the first place.

"Sorry, he's still learning," Tigerstar meowed sheepishly.

As the fight continued, Crookedstar and a few other cats had the inspired idea to open the Plot Hole, and sold tickets to the spectacle to cats still on earth. The Super-Computer-Mouse-Pad (With blinking lights!)-Fund doubled that day.

_All of a sudden, the scene changes to a dimly-lit chamber with metal walls and smoke coming from vents in the floor. A few observant cats notice the neon-green "Welcome to Bespin"2 sign in the corner._

The clash of lightsabers continued. Both cats struggled to walk upright with a deadly laser-sword clenched between two paws. Firestar swung clumsily at Yellowfang. Yellowfang parried the blow, and darting inside Firestar's defense, singed off a patch of underbelly-fur the size of an oak leaf.

"Ow!"

All of a sudden Lionblaze popped out from a vent, wearing a fedora and swinging in on a cable. The choir/orchestra struck up the _Indiana Jones_ theme.

"Firestar, I am your grandson," Lionblaze announced to the stunned crowd of cats.

"Couldn't you be more original than that? That's something I already knoooowww…"

Firestar's last word was cut off as Lionblaze abruptly stomped on his paw, causing Firestar to drop his lightsaber. Yellowfang lunged him, but in the few seconds before the golden blade touched Firestar, Firestar's own red 'saber fell into a chasm of crackling electricity, and when the explosion died down, Firestar, Yellowfang, and the rest of the cats had returned to the starry field.

A lone tom forcefully made his way to where Firestar and Yellowfang continued to fight, cats scurrying out of his way when they glimpsed the burning determination in his yellow eyes. The fact that he was dragging a loaded shotgun may have helped with that as well. He coolly leveled the shotgun at Firestar, then at Yellowfang. "I yield," they both said, dropping their weapons: Yellowfang's deactivated lightsaber and Firestar's Pointy Stick ™.

"Graystripe? What are you doing here?" Yellowfang asked.

"I have something for Firestar," Graystripe rasped, fixing the visibly uncomfortable Firestar with his stare. "Here are your Bunny Slippers. They are unharmed, except for a tear in the ribbon on the left one."

"Awesome!" said Firestar, reaching for the slippers.

Graystripe growled, and pulled the slippers out of Firestar's reach. "Be patient. Do you have any idea what I went through to find these? Do you? Well, I'll tell you." Graystripe had the rapt attention of every cat in the crowd, as he began to tell his tale.

"It turns out they were stolen by a hawk, who picked them up when you left them at the Gathering place. The hawk grew quite attached to them, and wouldn't give them back even when I got Midnight to talk to him for me. Millie was not very happy when I offered to trade Buzzkit and Platinumkit for the pink darlings, but because you were my friend, I sacrificed my own kits to get the slippers.

Then, when Millie clawed half my ear off, I staged a rescue mission, and nearly died in the attempt. It was Jayfeather who saved me: he patched me up, and lent me Rusty (here he patted the shotgun) to take with me when I went to see you. He even lent me the $35 it takes to get into this place. And here I am. Firestar, you owe me Big Time."

"Well," Firestar meowed a little shakily, "You did swear to do anything in your power to help me find my Bunny Slippers."

"Shut. Up. ThunderClan cats that aren't dead, follow me. We're going home."

_Back at the ThunderClan camp_

Firestar put a paw on Graystripe's shoulder. "Look, I just want to thank you for getting my slippers back. I couldn't have done it without you, you know."

"No, you couldn't have, but I appreciate you saying so," Graystripe meowed.

"So, are we friends again?"

"Yeah. Sure."

"Great! Now, I need you to lead a patrol on the ShadowClan border. Choose some cats and head out."

"Yes, my Leader! I choose—you. No 'buts,' you're coming along."

_A few hours later_

"Hello, Russetfur," Firestar said cheerfully. "How's Blackstar doing?"

Russetfur was too worn out to snap at ThunderClan cats. She rasped, "Blackstar's not so good, actually. He lost his Pink Bunny Slippers about a moon ago, and has been sitting vigil for them every night since. We've looked everywhere; I think they must be in StarClan or something."

"You never know," said Graystripe, thinking of a certain grumpy former medicine cat. "Good luck with your search, though."

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**Author's Note/Review Replies: **Thank you to my beta and everyone who read and/or reviewed this fic!

Kay: Thank you for being the first reviewer! I'm so glad you liked it! Sorry we didn't have it all up when you reviewed it. Yah, poor Graystripe! (Maybe I should get him some slippers of his own...)


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